Three men were drinking at a bar -- a doctor, an attorney and a biker.

As the doctor was drinking his white wine he said, "For her birthday, I'm going to buy my wife a fur coat and a diamond ring. This way, if she doesn't like the fur coat she will still love me because she got a diamond ring."

As the attorney was stirring his martini he said, "For my wife's birthday, I'm going to buy her a designer dress and a gold bracelet. This way, if she doesn't like the dress she will still love me because she got the gold bracelet."

As the biker was drinking his shots of whiskey he said, "I'm going to buy my wife a T-shirt and a vibrator. This way, if she doesn't like the T-shirt she can go f*ck herself!"

                                                                                                                                                                                                                   ___Added on 6/24/2008 at 11:11:42 AM     

From a comment on the NY Daily News web site:

Has the media noticed how Iowans, regardless of race, work together to help one another and there isn't this mass hysteria, blaming the federal govt, waiting for help, focusing the blame on everyone else but the source - the weather? And the governor is a democrat, just like the one in Louisiana at the time of Katrina. Look media- take a look at the people of Iowa - they aren't waiting - they are helping one another. I am so sick and tired of people in this country trying to place blame on everyone else and doing nothing to try and solve the problem.

Compare & contrast how the Iowa people will rebuild and make their state great again, while Louisiana will still cry of injustices, poverty and no help. Sorry, but there is poverty in Iowa too. People don't just sit on their lazy ***** waiting for someone else to do the job. Do you see anyone with shotguns, do you see any looting, do you see any whining? Iowans are a great example of how people should behave in time of crises.

eWare

                                                                                                                                                                                                                   ___Added on 6/24/2008 at 11:08:16 AM     

Maybe I should add something new?

                                                                                                                                                                                                                   ___Added on 6/15/2008 at 1:04:55 PM     

I received a phone call from a gorgeous ex-girlfriend who this morning called 'out-of-the-blue' to see if I was still around. We lost track of time, chatting about the wild, romantic times we used to enjoy together.I couldn't believe it when she asked if I'd be interested in meeting up and rekindling a little of that 'old magic'.

'Wow!' I was flabbergasted. 'I don't know if I could keep pace with you now', I said, 'I'm a bit older and a bit grayer than when you last saw me. Plus I don't really have the energy I used to have.' She just giggled and said she was sure I would 'rise to the challenge'

'Yeah.' I said. 'Just so long as you don't mind a waistline that's a few inches wider these days! Not to mention my total lack of muscle tone...everything is sagging, my teeth are a bit yellowed and I am developing jowls like a Great Dane!'

She laughed and told me to stop being so silly.She teased me saying that tubby, gray haired, older men were cute, and she was sure I would still be a great lover.

Anyway, she giggled and said, 'I've put on a few pounds myself!'

So I told her to fuck off.

                                                                                                                                                                                                                   ___Added on 3/24/2008 at 1:25:10 PM     

An Englishman, Irishman and Scotsman are playing golf with their wives.

The Englishman's wife steps up to the tee and, as she bends over to place her ball, a gust of wind blows her skirt up and reveals her lack of underwear.

"Good God, Daphne! Why aren't you wearing any knickers?" he demands.

"Well you don't give me enough housekeeping money to afford any," she replies.

He immediately reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's 50. Go and buy yourself some underwear."

Next, the Irishman's wife bends over to set her ball on the tee ...

Her skirt also flies up to show that she is not wearing any knickers either.

"Jesus, Mary and Joseph, Bridget! Where are your knickers?"

She replies, "I can't afford any on the allowance you give me." He reaches into his pocket and says, "For the sake of decency, here's 20.

Go and buy yourself some underwear!"

Lastly, the Scotsman's wife bends over. The wind takes her skirt over her head to reveal that she, too, is naked under it. "Sweet mudder of Jaysus! Aggie. Where the frig are yer drawers?" the Scotsman exclaims.

She also explains, "You dinna give me enough money t' be able t' affarrd any."

He reaches into his pocket and says, "Well, fer the Love'o Jaysus 'n the sake of decency...here's a comb. Tidy yerself up a wee bit. "

                                                                                                                                                                                                                   ___Added on 1/4/2008 at 1:19:58 PM